Thriving with ADHD: Practical Strategies and Hope for Women with Dr. Jennifer Dall

In this empowering episode of Worthy and Abundant, I sit down with Dr. Jennifer Dall, a Grief-Informed Neurodivergence Specialist and founder of ADHD Holistically. Diagnosed with ADHD in her 50s after years of being told she “couldn’t possibly have it,” Dr. Jennifer brings a deeply personal and professional perspective to what it really means to live — and thrive — with ADHD.

We talk about:
💡 Why so many women go undiagnosed until later in life
💡 The hidden toll of masking and how to break free from it
💡 Practical, quick-fix strategies that simplify daily life (without one-size-fits-all solutions)
💡 How grief and ADHD can intersect — and how healing is possible
💡 What it means to reframe your ADHD narrative into one of strength, growth, and self-acceptance

Whether you’ve been diagnosed, suspect you might have ADHD, or simply want to understand yourself (or the women in your life) more fully, this conversation offers compassion, hope, and powerful tools for embracing your authentic self.

 With over 25 years of experience as an educator and a background in ADHD coaching, yoga instruction, and grief education, Dr. Jennifer offers a holistic, deeply personal approach to helping neurodivergent individuals thrive.
Diagnosed with ADHD in her 50s after years of being told she "couldn’t possibly have it," Dr. Jennifer knows firsthand the challenges of navigating misinformation and masking symptoms, especially for women diagnosed later in life. Now, she specializes in helping women identify what truly works for them, focusing on practical, quick-fix strategies that simplify daily life without relying on medication or a one-size-fits-all approach.
Through her courses, workshops, and speaking engagements, Dr. Jennifer equips women—and those who support them—to reframe their ADHD narratives and unlock their full potential. Her work also extends to therapists, life coaches, and HR professionals, offering comprehensive training to better support neurodivergent clients and employees.

Website: https://adhdholistically.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adhd.holistically
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/ADHDHolistically/100077667853992/
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-dall-ed-d-226857317/

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Link to Linda's book Dare to Care 2 Wellness Warriors Share Stories of Healing, Growth and Empowerment

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Transcript

  Welcome back to Worthy and Abundant, the podcast. I'm so grateful you're here. It means the world to me that you're here listening. Today I have a powerful guest. She's a doctor. Her name is Dr. Jennifer Dahl. She's a grief informed NEURODIVERGENCE specialist and the founder of A DHD holistically, where she empowers individuals with A DHD to transform daily struggles into opportunities.

For growth and self-discovery. With over 25 years of experience as an educator and a background in A DHD coaching, yoga instruction, and grief education, Dr. Jennifer offers a holistic, deeply personal approach to helping neurodivergent in individuals. Thrive. She was diagnosed in her fifties after years of being told she couldn't possibly have it.

Dr. Jennifer knows firsthand the challenges of navigating misinformation and masking symptoms, especially for women diagnosed later in life. Which I would say is me because I self-diagnosed. And it's been a game changer actually. Now she specializes in helping women identify what truly works for them, focusing on practical, quick fix strategies that simply.

Simplify daily life without relying on medication or a one size fits all approach. Through her courses, workshops, and speaking engagements, Dr. Jennifer Equips women and those who support them to reframe their A DHD narratives and unlock their full potential. Her work also extends to therapists, life coaches and HR professionals offering comprehensive training to better support neurodivergent clients and employees when she's not coaching or creating content.

She enjoys traveling, spending time with loved ones and diving into new passions. A testament to her A DHD, driven curiosity and zest for life. I love it. Welcome, Dr. Jennifer Dahl to the show. Thank you for being here. Thank you very much for having me here, Linda. I'm really excited to have this conversation.

Me too. So you were diagnosed with A DHD later in life in your fifties. Can you share what that experience was like and what shifted for you once you had the diagnoses? The experience took quite a while. I don't know if it helped that I had, I knew a lot about things. But I definitely did through my experience with teaching and my education and all the research I've done.

It was a process of. The more I started, the more I knew and the more I really thought about things, the more things started to click. And then of course, like many women, many people, I hit a lot of roadblocks. People telling me, oh no, you couldn't possibly, you've done this, you've done that.

You have all of these things. Because a lot of people still think about A DHD with, the 8-year-old boy kind of syndrome. Yes. And so they don't see the other things. But I think that one of the things that helped was I ended up having just so much information and such a strong belief that this is what was going on.

That when I brought it up again to a doctor I was able to stand up for myself and really advocate, yeah, you have to, this is what's going on. I think that knowing, really getting some sort of validation helped. I continue to learn things, I think we all always do. And so it's just given me a little bit of peace and knowing that this is what is going on, this is the situation, but I continue to learn and look back and realize things that were going on before.

Wish someone had seen or wish I had known about. Yeah. I think a lot of people say that right now. Do you think that you had it as a child too? Sorry about that. Definitely. I think it's something that you have, and I think that many of us, especially in a certain age group we masked, we hid it, we.

We cover it up sometimes also, I think it's seen as other kinds of issues. So you're lazy or you're being difficult. Yep. Or with girls they're not seeing it as that. It might be a DHD it is something else. 'cause it, 'cause also when, I was young. We were young there, there was so little known about it.

Yeah. One, one of the things that I know and when I talk to people is. I think you start to see things that were always there that were labeled in a different way. Yes. And you look at it under maybe this is a trait of A DHD. It make, it's more clear, it makes more sense. It takes it off of you being like a tool maker or whatever.

And it's more like this is you like, give an example, like being oversensitive. Oh, definitely. That is a big one. Yes. And so just. Realizing what's going on behind that, because that's one of those things that, you could end up at a general practitioner or a psychologist, a psychiatrist, and then they're labeling it perhaps as depression.

Like that. And then you find yourself down the antidepressant. Yes. Route, which may or may not help, may or may not be what you actually need, but yes. Being overly sensitive. Yeah, I just wanna just not following through. I wanna pause here and just state that you have to be your own advocate.

Please listen to yourself and be your own advocate, like Dr. Jen, like I was when I was misdiagnosed by three or four doctors back in 11 and 12 with my health condition. And yeah, because if you just do what they, and take the pills it usually doesn't end well. So I just say that because so you advocated for yourself and so before your diagnosis, you were told it couldn't possibly have been a DHD.

Why do you think so many women are going undiagnosed or misdiagnosed until later? In life. One of the things is so much of the research has been done on boys and men. And that's what the general population and even a lot of doctors know, doctors, teachers, professionals. If they have any training in it, it's very limited and it's outdated for the most part, unless they've really found an interest in it and gone looking for it.

And so I think we just believe those things. Yeah. We believe that's what's going on. And a lot of us aren't trained to stand up for ourselves really well, and especially over somebody who has this role, his title so yeah. Exactly. How did your journey influence the way you now support women with A DHD in people?

I think I have a lot of compassion. I know that as I went through things, every time I heard or talked to somebody who could share information, who had gone through it or was going through it, I felt. A real bond with that person. I felt heard, I felt more believed, and I felt more stronger and better, better able to manage and come to solutions and just try different things.

So I think that versus some experts who don't have a DHD who didn't go through these things. I've been there and I'm still there and I'm still learning just like you are. Yeah. Yeah, I for me, just 'cause this is a conversation I felt so like I finally fit in, like I finally found my people like, which happened to me a different time when I found some coaches in 2011 and 12, but or no, in 2017, but like I just, I suspected I had it, and I know I remember telling my son and he just, disregarded it. And I had no idea all the details, but I just knew I had a hard time staying, like focused and things. And so anyway, when I found Tracy at Soca's book in the bookstore, it was like, oh my God, this is it.

This is it. And then I started listening to her podcast and I was like, okay, this is. Finally like the truth. And then I did just take a test online and it was a hundred percent, it made sense. It's like, why am I so impulsive? Why? What's funny is your whole life, you're like, oh, I'm just sensitive.

Oh, I'm an Aries. Oh, it's, these things. But then when you find out. The puzzle pieces all fall into place with the A DHD 'cause I didn't know all those things about A DHD. And so it's just interesting. It's just super interesting in that we're both in our fif or I was in my, I'm in my fifties now, finding this out about myself.

I don't know how you, how old you are at this time, but, so what are some let me just see here. I have, I know you had some, so I guess what I was asking is what, got you into coaching women. You were coaching individuals with the A DHD was it you just. Give us your journey.

Sure. I was in education for a long time and I started to think that I wanted to work outside of that. I wanted to be able to work with people in a different way. After the pandemic hit, a lot of things changed. It became easier to meet with people online in situations like. Zoom and meet people around at different places.

And it just became more and more as I learned more and I saw how much it benefited me learning from other women, I realized that was the role that I wanted to play. To be that for somebody else, to be the person who, like you said, makes you feel understood, makes you feel seen, makes you feel like you have a group.

And and I just knew this. This was what I needed to be doing because I have the experience and it's easier to listen and work with somebody who knows what you're going through. Yeah. I agree. It just feels so empowering actually. Yes. Yes. That's a amazing, yeah, so you were diagnosed at 53 and you know the feeling when you're juggling a million things and you're, you were a high achiever right before, right?

Yeah. So that's why people were saying, how can you have it right? Because you're right. Successful, right? You can do all these things and that's one thing, as you've probably found with A DHD, is you can be very interest based in things. So things that you're interested in. You can do very well. You can di deep dive, you can, go down the rabbit hole, however you wanna look at it.

And then on the other hand, things that you aren't interested in are really difficult to do, to follow through on. And that's something that I think parents, teachers, partners get frustrated with if they don't understand and, how can you be so strong and good in this area? Not to not seem to care in these other areas.

And you can take that on what's wrong with me? Why am I being like this? Am I really that difficult when it's really your way of thinking, your way of processing? It's not purpose. Yeah. And I think what else really resonated was the inner critic is a lot. More intense as an A DHD person. Like we're harder on ourselves. So that's really a powerful awareness and it helped me so much on my self-love journey because it's like nothing's ever good enough that we do, or, even like Tracy was saying with her book, like she took so long to write her book 'cause she thought it was crap, even though in scrapbook so I just, it just feels good to, find others with the same thing and yeah. So were you ever medicated for it or did you for that? No, I went down a, an unfortunate road of being diag medicated for depression, which, which was not helpful. And in my experience it was only my experience, but getting off of the medication was very difficult.

The things that, that it does to you. That was one of the reasons that I really started pushing with the doctors is just feeling like I, I wasn't getting the right thing, that this wasn't the problem, that we hadn't looked at everything. Yeah. That's, and so I really wanted just to be able to take all that out and really, yeah.

Give myself what I needed. So what would you tell someone listening that doesn't know if they have it? What, let's give them some ideas of like for me, memory loss, that's a thing, right? With A DHD, yes. Loss. And I can think Loss, memory loss. And then lack of focus and emotional regulation like we were talking about.

Yeah. For myself and for so many people that I talk to. Something. Something is making you think this you've heard something, you've read something that has made you think, start to think, I wonder if I have a DHD. And so I always like to start with that. What is it that you heard that rang Bell?

Because that's a really good place to start. Getting formally diagnosed is a choice. It's also. Can be difficult. You it's a long process. You have to, sometimes, depending on your doctors fight for it, it can be expensive. And you have to decide if that's what you really need. Is having that formal diagnosis even matter to you.

Because I think there's perfect validity and self-diagnosis. And I heard that A-D-D-A-D-H-D means that you have, you're overly sensitive and you have this emotional regulation problems. And I see that in myself and if you can take that and work on that and look at that and learn about it and be self-caring about it.

Yeah. Then that's making progress and that's all we really want. Yeah. And what else happened for me was I would take these like online courses and classes. And I just couldn't follow along the way. Everyone else seemed to do everything. Like I just, I, I couldn't, and I still to this day.

So that was what was like, the biggest question mark too, was like, why is it so hard for me to do things in a certain way? Like I, but I've always been successful, like I'm a licensed realtor. I have my life insurance. Like I've I was, I'm EFT, like I have a lot of.

Things. I'm certified life coach, like I can achieve things and like you said, you are a high achiever too, so we're like capable. Even like Tracy, she's a lawyer, she is a realtor, she was, all these things. But yet still, but we are doing it in a certain way that we've figured out how to survive.

To survive. Then the masking, let's talk about the masking. Definitely do. Do you know masking? Do you know what I mean when I'm talking about it? Yeah. I looked it up and I totally understand it now. So it's basically. Almost pretending to be different so that we fit in and Right.

Hiding our like our, I don't know what word we would use, like a flaw or our or our true selves trying to fit in. Yeah. Trying to fit in and like me packing for a trip or different things. It's just like. Why, like it shows up in different places. It does. And I think that, that goes back to one of the original questions about why we aren't being diagnosed is because from early on, from school, from everything else, if you've been successful in hiding it and being successful anyway, you're really good at masking.

And so you present to others. You present to yourself. And so if you come up to somebody who knows you and say, look, I think I have a DHD because I have a really hard time following these directions and doing this way, unless they really know you and have been really open with what's going on. They don't see that.

They see but you did it. What are you talking about? And so that masking, that presenting. Is one of the reasons I think we're not being diagnosed. It's also one of the reasons why we might not admit it to ourselves or really know, and you may find this, it's really tiring, masking takes a lot of, yeah, it's exhausting exhaust and I thought I was just a people pleaser 'cause I've been on this healing journey for several years, but when I changed my life three years ago, moved to Florida, I, and decided I'm gonna be a coach.

And because I was in real estate, which is, a challenging career unless you're meant for it, whatever. And but like all these pieces to the puzzle, like I had to heal all this past trauma, all this stuff. And then when Worthy the book by Jamie Krn Lima came out, I was like, oh, there's my missing piece.

And then when I found this A DHD, this was a really powerful self diagno like awareness because I felt finally. Not alone, finally fitting into a group that makes sense. Like we're creative, we're driven, like all these things. Yeah. And it's still a process. Getting either the formal diagnosis or the internal diagnosis is just the start because then you're figuring out how to make things work.

You're figuring out what to tell people so that they can help you, so they can understand you and you can. You can work better together. It's the beginning in a way. Yeah. It's a restart and it's easy sometimes, at least for me to think, oh gosh, what if. 20 years ago, or when I was in elementary school or whatever, somebody had figured this out.

How would my life be different? But you really, you can't do that. We're figuring it out from here. Yeah. And I wouldn't have wanted to be medica, like I've had depression and anxiety in my life and I used to have really difficult premenopause, or not pre pre before you get your period. Yeah. Yeah, used to get that really strong, but even recently, in the last couple years, I remember the doctor, which I don't really go to the doctor right now, but I remember the doctor saying, I think you have anxiety.

I think you have anxiety. And he wanted to give me medication and I took the prescriptions. I never filled 'em, and I knew that the side effects were, I just didn't want any part of it. But I thought it was, I was curious. People with a DHD, we have anxiety, we have depression, right? You can have anxiety and depression and you can also have symptoms of anxiety and depression from the A DH, adhd, from passing, from masking, from trying to figure it all out, right?

And it's hard to weed all that out. And when you're maybe seeing a doctor who doesn't really know that much about A DHD, especially in women, that's when. The more you know about yourself and the more you can learn, the better off you'll be. I think I love that. Yeah. We have to be our own advocates and learn about yourself.

And so how do you spot signs without losing your mind? Feeling overwhelmed, constantly displacing your keys, starting projects you never finish. Oh my God, that's me. Starting this and then this and like I get an idea and my friend who's an Enneagram coach or she would say, Linda, oh, you're the, you're a d, you're, you have all these ideas, but you don't follow, you don't, and it's like that's, again, that's part of it, right?

It is part of it. And maybe for some people taking one of those online quizzes or something, and not that you're going to fix all of it immediately because you're not, but there can be a certain satisfaction and just oh, this is why I'm not broken. I'm not bad, I'm not crazy. I'm not whatever.

Yeah. This is why I do all these things. And a DHD thinks they can do it all at once. It's easy to say, okay, and tomorrow I'm gonna wake up and it's all gonna be better. But no, but pick one. What's easiest or what's most impactful, or what sounds the most interesting? And just start one, one little step.

I do this and this. Because I have a DHD, or I seem to have a DHD, so what's going be easiest or make me happiest or the most success to start with and just, yeah, little tiny, subtle things. One thing, like two things I know are gigantic for health, for our overall health, and with a DH, adhd, it's even more is exercising.

And sleeping, getting proper sleep. Affects your mental health period and helps you function in a much higher capacity. And in, in exercise is like taking a drug like an antidepressant. Yeah. We've known this, but tell us some of the life hacks that you, that work for you and different things that you use to regulate your nervous system and regulate yourself and what are you, tell us how we can.

Feel better and Right. So like you said, with this, the sleeping and the exercise, but also then eating A DHD can make it hard to eat. You can sometimes stand in front of a full refrigerator and not have any idea. What to eat or what you want to eat, sometimes the act of making something is too hard.

So if that's how it works for you having things you can just grab like yogurt or some fruit or some cheese, and you know what, that's okay. Remembering to eat. Sometimes when I'm really into something or I get busy, I forget. And so how I've structured my day. Is remembering to, this was something that when I taught, I didn't realize how it was one of those structures in my life that really helped because when I quit teaching and I didn't have bells and calendars, and it's lunchtime, so you eat now, it got hard to remember to do those things, and then next thing you know, you are starving and you're.

Hangry and yeah. And you grab anything that's not healthy or grab the chocolate covered m and ms or whatever is right there. So I, so in addition to that, I think really trying to make sure that you're eating and drinking somehow. If it's setting a timer and I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna walk over and I'm just gonna drink.

A glass of water. 'cause those are little things that will help. Yeah. Yeah. I drink water all day. It's important. Yeah. And also just getting better at checking what I call my energy thermometer. Like where am I, if, especially if I'm getting more distracted and flustered, then. Probably my energy needs to be looked at just in that moment and just stepping back and realizing I visualize one of those, like old school, big thermometers, with the bulb and everything and where's my energy?

If it's way down here, do I need to go, just lay down for a couple minutes or go outside or get something to drink or to go do something else? Or stop what I'm doing, am I just done for the day? That's one thing that I think has been hard to deal with is realize when you're done for the day.

Yeah, you keep working for another two hours, but you're not getting anything done and giving yourself that. Yeah, and I think that, like for me, I, because of how I grew up I have affirmations like written out and posted, and I practice self-love, acts of self-love, and I feel like. This component. So like you said, the energy, like noticing what you're noticing and becoming aware of how am I feeling, what do I need right now?

And I mean we can all do this, A DHD, or not a DHD because we live in a world of constant doing and then all this technology stuff. So I'm Jewish and like they have, I started going to Shabbat services and it's such a beautiful thing to like. Disconnect for 24 hours like the Orthodox Jews do.

Just saying it's something we need a break from all this technology and stuff. So I feel for children today, because we didn't have that growing up. We didn't have phones. I saw kids riding their bike and they're holding a phone. I'm like, oh my God. Or they're at the bus stop and they're standing there with their phones.

Ugh. Do you think that affects their it affects the energy. I know it's a drain. I think it does. I think it affects the energy and you're just, your interaction with the outside world and all of that. I know when I'm on my phone a lot how I feel. Same. I drained, took a social media sabbatical in August.

And I'm having a really hard time going back, especially I find it helpful with everything that's going on right now, like just not being bombarded with information about that and then the comparison part of it and, oh, somebody doing better or somebody comparison. Yeah, that's the thief of joy, right?

No, I do, I agree with you. I'll sometimes unfollow someone or, but what I want to touch on is but you have a business. So that's the thing. Like I, part of me, I was always like, why? Like I have noticed, like I, if I didn't have to have businesses, I would not be on there, I don't think. Or I'd have I'd be very private, like I'd have, so it's I feel like I have to be on there because of my business. I have somebody helping me. That was one of the things I realized it's hard to ask for help. It's hard to farm things out. But with the A DHD, I realized that I would say, okay, I'm going to do this whole series on Instagram about this.

It's big, huge, great, wonderful idea. And after about two or three days, I wouldn't be doing it anymore. And so this was not good. And I finally realized that. There's things I do well and there's things that I don't have follow through on. And so it has been very worth it to me to work with somebody who does the putting it on there.

I give her the ideas, we talk, she makes it pretty and she puts it on there. She's using my ideas, we talk about it, but I'm not going through the rabbit hole and taking the time of, oh, what colors should I make this? And all those extra little details that she can do. Time consuming like that.

Whereas me, it takes me longer 'cause I get distracted. Yes. And I get frustrated and then I give up. And so this allows me more time to come up with the base information and come up with other things. And I've really been trying to go out and the community more. It's much low key. I'm not gonna take over the world, but how can I go out and meet people in real times at bookstores, in events?

It's hard for an introvert. It's hard, but it's also, reaffirming to actually talk to people in person. Yeah. I notice I connect when I meet people in person. Like they per they wanna meet again. They wanna connect, they wanna find me on social media. So it's it's a powerful, being in person is definitely powerful.

But some of the networking groups here, they're just too, they get too crowded. I just can't, and I didn't know how, why I had such an issue with it, but now it's part of this really. It is too. And pick what you can do. Yeah. Pick what you want to do. It's one of reasons I like listening to podcasts and I like talking to people on podcasts because it's not, we're one-on-one, you can then hear and then you hear real people with their real voices and real conversations happening.

And so I see it as like a middle ground. Yeah. So tell us some I. Subtle sneaky signs of A DHD women over 40. We've talked about some of them. I'm gonna say that there are probably also things that if you sit back and think. It is something that you've always had or you've either noticed or somebody else has noticed about you.

It may have to do with, your emotions. You get really overly hurt and upset about something that a few other people think is no big deal, right? You're overly sensitive, which then you criticize yourself and that's not helpful. It can have to do with just this really abstract concept of time.

It's not just being late or in my case. Being early because I can't plan that way. I finally figured out what that was. It's just not understanding how time works really. It's a three day weekend when I was working and I, my list for the three day weekend would be this long because I believed I had this extra day and I could just do all these things, which is not true.

You're talking about packing, so things that you do when you're successful you're probably not doing it the way. Other people do it. Or neurotypical people. You may find that if you talk to your friends or talk to other people with a DHD, they do it that way. But, talking about like you're taking an online course and you can't do it the way they want you to do it because it's set up for a different mind, a different way of doing things, and look at what are you most hard on yourself about, because I would bet that.

There's at least a decent chance it has something to do with A DHD if that's what's going on. And you were just criticized about it and didn't understand, and you were hard on yourself about it. Yeah. Just things like that. Yeah. I love that. Yeah, it's true. It's very true. I just so many puzzle pieces, like I say, fell in place when I learned more about A DHD.

I just felt oh wow. That's why I do that. That's why this, that, so not just the class, but organization. Time, like you said. And. I'm trying to think what else. I didn't wanna interrupt you when you were talking, but I had thoughts come in while you were talking. I know.

Yeah, because oh, the re like when you're ta, even when you were talking about the food I'm happy to cook and prepare things if it's more than just me, but when it's just me, it feels like a lot following recipes. I'm, I just don't like following recipes and, and what about reading books?

Do you read cover to cover? My son would always say, you don't read cover to cover. Why don't you read cover? I'll just do different things. But yeah, I have a huge pile of books that I've started and not finished. Yeah. And then no, there was one other thing. I was listening to a pod.

This is before I figured out, or I had suspected, but I didn't know for sure. I was listening to this podcast and the girl goes. I go in one room and I start doing something and then I go in another room and I start doing something and then I go in this room and so start doing laundry, and I'm like, that's me. That's me. She says that she had a DHD and that her mother never told her. And they told the mother when she was a child, but she never told her daughter. 'cause she didn't want her to be like labeled right. So it's very interesting. Yeah. And I'm sure that whatever her mom was told it was a while ago and she heard it a certain way and I can see that.

'cause I would have kids that didn't know what was going on, yeah. All those things. I'm laughing 'cause because there's so many things that when somebody says, oh, I do this and I. PhD and they, yeah, I do that too. Yeah. And like the blurred, like on a project saying, I'm gonna do this, and then really being able to break down all the steps and organizing them and then doing them takes a lot of energy and it can be hard to follow.

That's another reason it can be hard to follow through. Yeah. And then writing my book, like that's a whole thing too, but I think the inner critic though, like realizing that we're harder on ourselves is really a big piece because. I didn't realize how hard I was on myself and what a people pleaser I was till later and looking back and it is very exhausting.

Pretending and fake, masking like even. Like having a lot of the my value being taught, my value had to do with what I look like for years. That's very exhausting too. To always have to prepare. Like today I had a blind date for coffee and I was in the gym doing a little bit, and I didn't even shy, I didn't even shower.

I like, I was like, I got ready and stuff, but like where a year ago I would've had to schedule all this time to get ready and take a shower, like all this stuff. To meet somebody for coffee that I may or may not even like I just, I learned to love myself more and feel better about me. And I always say three years ago when I moved here, I was 15 pounds lighter.

I had way more money in the bank and I felt, I was driving Lyft and walking dogs, and I thought I had to lose weight even though I was fricking thinner than I am. I had these. Negative, feelings. And then now I am more confident and more, self-assured. And I have higher self-worth and self-esteem because it's a practice.

Self-love is a practice. It's not oh, all of a sudden you love your, like for me it's a practice like meditation or yoga. So tell us some of the things that you do for, that, or that you think would be valuable to share. With the audience that might have a DHD I think learning as much as you can, whatever your favorite or best way of learning is that reading books or articles or listening to podcasts or joining a group of people with a DHD and being kind to yourself and learning that these traits of yours.

Or because of A DHD and that you can change how you feel about it and how you work with it. Not, no one is perfect. You can look at other people and assume they have it all together and they have it all perfect. And you have all these things that are wrong with you, but that's not true. You have strengths.

Work on those. Like I said, celebrate, learn what you can let go of or you can hire out or you can ask somebody else to do. 'cause we also, I think, get into this you're supposed to do it all and you're supposed to do it all perfectly. Yeah. And that's as, as everyone knows, that's exhausting anyway.

Yeah. Do you have children? I have a daughter who is now in law school. Oh, nice. Yeah. So she yeah, she's doing that. But I know a lot of people find out or get suspicious when their kids are referred for to be tested or when that's brought up with maybe with their kids. 'cause that can happen too.

So that's always interesting. Does your daughter have it or you don't? No, she's never been tested. And she may, but I don't know. And I haven't pushed it, if she's doing well, like why would you? Yeah. It's up to her if she she's an adult. Yeah. She's doing well.

She's an adult. She yeah, she's off doing her own thing. Let's talk about the myth that A DHD and high achievement cannot coexist. I think that's based on just a misunderstanding of what A DHD is. That the, like so many things, what are the people who are most out there, most, the loudest, the most doing things.

And so we don't see. The women or the people who have a DHD who are doing a lot because like we talked about with the masking and with fitting in and with doing all of that. That's partly why is you present this front, that you're doing these things and also you can be very intelligent and have A-D-H-D-A-D-H ADHD doesn't mean you have low intelligence or anything like that.

I think exactly one of those myths that is perpetuated. And you believe. Yeah, like when Tracy said that her son, she had some, like some school therapist somebody, some therapist, somebody told her to lower her expectations for her son because he had a DH ADHD or something. And she was like, who says that to anyone ever?

Yeah. And and she, got, now he's like super successful. I forgot what he is doing in his life, but it's just, she went on a mission to educate herself and then she self like. I think she found out she also had it or whatever, but it's just interesting 'cause I think we don't understand what A DHD is and that's why we don't know that we have it or don't have it.

Like I just knew I wasn't able to be present and that. There were just different suspicions. I'm very intuitive, so self-aware. But the more I started to learn, like I said, when I found her book, I was like, oh my gosh. It's confirmed. I'm like, I belong and I have a thing and being in Zoom meetings and I'm always wanting to talk.

Always wanting to interrupt, always wanting that impulsiveness, I thought that was my Aries, I'm an Aries, I'm impulsive. But no, it's part of the thing, because your mind is really busy and you have these ideas, and if you can't say them, then you forget them. Yeah. And they're gone.

And they're just gonna be gone. So I just wanted. Say it. I don't wanna be rude and interrupt, but Yeah. Is there any like diet, do you stay away from gluten or do you stay away from caffeine or do you like caffeine or is it, I like mushroom, like I like the mushroom coffee and I like the mushroom drink.

I think mushrooms are good for us for the, I just tried to eat a healthy diet. I'm vegetarian. I definitely use caffeine and I find that it equalizes me and helps me focus a little bit better, which is something that some people say I am not gluten free. Why vegetarian animal advocate or because you get a reaction to the I am a vegetarian.

Partly animal advocate. Partly it's a sensory thing, because people with A-D-H-D-L kinda have like sensory issues and it just got to the point where I didn't like eating meat. I didn't like a sensory thing. It one of those, tell me what you mean. Did it affect you like energetically, like it made you depressed or anything?

No, just. The actual act of eating it. Oh, like knowing a dead animal was killed or something? Yeah. Okay. Okay. And then, so you're not gluten free, do caffeine. You personally are vegetarian, but it's not related to the A DHD. Okay. I try to eat healthy. Healthy, that's hard. And like you talked about, I'm living alone now and it's hard to.

Just get myself to cook something. So what do they call girl dinners or something, like some hummed and some carrots and some fruit and some crackers. Yeah. It's dinner. That is, that's fine. Getting off of that for, I think I also, I'm, after all those years of cooking for a family, I just I reached this limit like I'm done.

But trying to look at it more like getting in healthy nutrients and not what some people might think a meal is. I think also it's about whatever works for you and there's no judgment and enough with the judgment of others, judgment of self. I think we, I love allowing myself to have what you just described, and that's your dinner.

As long as you sleep well and you feel good, who cares? It's not a big, that sounds good to me. And then what else? I was gonna ask you about the, so do you use EFT or do you meditate or tell us a little bit of some of your regulation things or do you accident? I meditate and I I've done yoga.

I almost, a year ago I had an accident. I got hit by a guy on a bike and I've had some. I had a fractured skull and stuff. And so I have not been able to do a lot of yoga or running because of dealing with all that. And I have felt that, were you in a car when it happened? I was walking on a sidewalk and this guy on a bike was on the sidewalk and he mowed me over and oh geez.

I ended up in the trauma ward. I'm sorry I'm laughing, but it's not really funny. But so I notice 'cause balance and things like that, I haven't been able to do a whole lot of yoga and I notice. That in the last year, not having that, that's affecting been a struggle that I'm trying to get back.

I'm getting better and so I'm trying to get back into doing more those things. But meditation, breath work, being outside, journaling and walking. I can walk pretty well, but I'm trying to get back into running. 'cause for me, I know people who hate running, but it was always really.

Meditative and relaxing. Nice. Glad everybody understands that. Yeah. I was listening to Tracy's. I don't listen to all of her episodes. She has so many. But I was listening to one about this woman who she was a swimmer. But when she stopped swimming, I forgot the reason she stopped swimming. All her symptoms were much stronger because the swimming, the action, it was like meditative as well as the, when we move our bodies, it help, it's like an antidepressant.

It's like an a calmer, and it helps, I forget how Tracy says it. Something about like X amount of exercises like taking Adderall and taking Yeah. Or something good for you. And I know that when I was doing it, things are easier and better. Yeah. Do you use tapping emotional freedom technique? Have you ever I don't, I've tried it once or twice.

It just, I didn't stick with it. Yeah. I like it. And is there anything else you wanna share? And then we can find out where to where everybody can find you. And is there any, I would just say, whether you've been diagnosed or not, there's some reason you're thinking about this and start there.

Really look into that and ask yourself questions and take the time to, to think about that and whether it's a DHD or not. Is this something that's impacting your life and is there some little thing you can do to. To change that, to improve that, to not be so hard on yourself about that. 'cause I think we do a lot of that.

Yeah, I agree. Do you tell me the, what your opinion of self-love, like how that incorporate, how you incorporate I. Like what do you believe about loving yourself, accepting yourself, especially, I'm not gonna say especially, I think everyone has to do this, but let me hear your opinion on it. Oh, I think it's so key.

I think it's, for some of us, it's something that we have to learn how to do. Especially with A DHD or with other things that wasn't a part of it. It was, this was something I'm doing wrong, this was something that's wrong with me. This is something that doesn't fit. And learning to accept that about myself, learning that there's good things about it and learning to be around people who appreciate it.

New people who have come into my life, who who want to understand, who want to work with it. So I think. You've got to do that self-love bit. You've got to. That's the first step. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. I had I had told you before I hit record that I was gonna niche down to self-love and worthiness.

We teach what we need, right? You're teaching a DHD. We, it, we learn as we teach, but self love and worthiness has been something I've been working on and I was. Exploring niching down to women with A DHD too. So I think it's just a very powerful, especially knowing that women with A DHD are harder on themselves.

And, we are, we all have an inner critic, a judge, and a victim. There's book I was reading and she's there's two voices in your head. A judge and a victim. Yeah, and then the rabbi at the services, he says there's two soul, there's like an animal soul and a, and your, how does he say it?

Like your higher self soul or your, okay, there's an animal. Like he's saying yeah, it's, I'm not sure. I can't remember now that a good idea. It's, yeah, it's just interesting. It's kinda like. Impulsiveness or wanting something right away and the higher self. But no, this was a great conversation.

I'm glad to be raising the awareness around this and then both you being in your fifties and fighting this out. And same with Tracy being later in life and me, it's very powerful because if we, if we don't know, we can't fix, not that it needs to be fixed, but at least. Accepted and worked with.

And learn to live our lives better the way they are and how we want them to be. Yes. Thank you so much Dr. Jennifer. You put all your links. Where would you like people to go and find you though? You can go to my website, a adhd holistically.com. I'm on Instagram, ADHD holistically. What I'm working on now is some short term things.

I have a SOS card deck and I'm doing some quick win coaching Ooh. To to just hone in on small little things and make little bits of progress. Which I see is really helpful. I love the SOS deck. Oh, I love the deck idea. Oh, that's true. Yeah. Awesome. All right thank you so much and You're welcome.

I'll let you know when it's out. Okay, perfect. Thank you so much. You're welcome.